The Other Side of the Golden Rule…

The issues associated with homelessness are numerous and complex, even as the concern and desire to help of many is genuine. My involvement with the ministry of the Open Door Mission has made me realize that often, with the best of intentions, I can do things that actually reinforce the kind of thinking that leads to homelessness. The old adage is that in the life of every addict, there is at least one person who enables them to remain in their addiction. Often you find that there is an entire ‘support network’ (how’s that for a misnomer?), usually the person’s family that enables the person to continue in their destructive lifestyle. Obviously, I have no desire to be a part of this system, which brings me to what I have come to call, “the other side of the golden rule.”

I have learned a painful lesson: with my clients: the thing I tend to feel to be the loving thing to do is often the worst thing I can do. Many of the folks I work with see life very differently than I do, so much so that it sometimes feels like we aren’t even living on the same planet. I automatically assume that if I appreciate an act of kindness or generosity, they will to. This is a false assumption.

It is a painful realization that treating someone the way I would want to be treated can actually have tragic, sometimes even disastrous consequences. My work forces me to recognize that kindness, generosity and empathy, normally wonderful qualities, can be the exact opposite of what my clients need most from me. Frankly, this has been a difficult reality to grasp and something even harder to implement. After almost two years, I am just now beginning to appreciate the importance of this approach.

You see, it goes against everything I have been taught. It is a contradiction to the way I am accustomed to working with the vast majority of the people I meet! I was never told that sometimes ‘ministry’ can appear to be heartless and unsympathetic. In all honesty, I think this might be one of the greatest hurdles I face in seeking to have an effective ministry here at the Open Door Mission

In summary, what I really need is discernment, finding the balance in Spirit-led ministry that only the grace of God can provide.

By the way, I am still a believer in the Golden Rule and I hope you are, too. Let’s be extra gracious to one another the next time we meet.

Blessings.

Dick Arant

Program Case Manager